My Hug For RICHIE

I put a moratorium on bad news on Bon Jovi Day yesterday and I almost made it. I didn’t officially receive any bad news until 15 minutes before midnight. As for the concert, I could sit here and talk about how awesome the concert was. (Shout out to J-Mo for going with me at the last minute. Hope you’re feeling better Ilonka. I missed you last night.) That it was the most perfect concert I’ve ever been to. That Bon Jovi played songs that I love and have never seen performed live. That Jon played three (Yes…THREE) songs in the audience finishing Bed of Roses while walking on the rim of the hockey rink (he’s got balance) and shaking hands with fans all the way to the stage. Yes, I could tell you all about that and it would be amazing to type every last memory I have from that show, but something else happened that few, if any, concert-goers were aware of at the time of the concert. Something that I knew without having anything confirmed. I just knew.

They’d never talked about problems. They’d never said there was a rift in their relationship. For all we, as fans, knew, nothing was wrong and they loved each other and were devoted to each other. But according to reports about 3 ½ hours prior to Richie Sambora taking the stage at the MCI Center, his wife Heather Locklear filed for divorce without telling him about it. I didn’t read these reports until 11:45 last night when I turned on my computer to find out the score of the UNC/MD game (man did I miss a good one…but the concert was worth it…GO HEELS!) and there it was, the breaking news. Now, I can’t sit here and tell you what the reason behind the divorce is. I don’t know if anyone cheated. I don’t know who, if either of them, fell out of love. And I certainly don’t know what all is lumped into the term irreconcilable differences. But, I do know that Richie was oblivious to her filing as well until some reporter asked him about it right before the show. And, even though I didn’t read the reports until 75 minutes after the show ended, I knew there was something wrong 8:35pm.

Richie came out in true Richie fashion playing his guitar and decked out in clothes that only Richie Sambora can get away with. But…it was missing…the ring…it wasn’t there. When Richie plays his guitar solos, the big screens show his guitar playing up close and I could see the mark on his finger where the ring used to be as if he had just taken it off. Some guitarists will remove their rings because it gets in the way of playing, but Richie’s wedding band was always there, and you got the sense that he never wanted to take it off for any reason. So, when it was missing, my heart dropped.

In the last year, I have been witness to the definition of strength more times than I’d like to admit. I’ve seen the Dungy family hold together through faith after their oldest son took his own life. I’ve seen my best friend go through a divorce, something she never, ever expected to go through. I’ve watching my friend, Katherine, give birth to a beautiful baby boy (she was definitely my hero that day). I’ve watched a dear friend of mine stare uncertainty in the face because of an impending unemployment. Through the internet, I’ve watched little baby Lauren Schwamb fight back with God’s help through everything the doctor’s said she couldn’t do. These are all definitions of strength to me in today’s world. And in every person’s life, strength is defined to them in different ways. My definition of strength may be completely different from yours, but it doesn’t make my definition or yours the right one. But how you see strength is all your own just as mine is. Last night, I discovered another facet of strength.

What do you do when you’re the lead guitarist of one of the longest running rock bands in the world, a reporter has just informed you that your wife filed for divorce without your knowledge, and you have to go out and play to a 20,000 member screaming audience that wants nothing more than to hear you sing and manipulate your guitars with the flare only you possess? Well, you go out and put your entire heart into it. Richie had to go out and sing songs like “Born To Be My Baby,” “I Want To Be Loved,” “Who Says You Can’t Go Home,” “In These Arms,” “I’ll Be There For You,” “Bed of Roses,” and “Livin’ On A Prayer.” Of course he did get to sing “You Give Love a Bad Name,” which in my opinion he played his best guitar riff of the night on that song. He put his entire body into that solo and it showed. Richie did an amazing job, exemplifying his professionalism and devotion to his fans. He said we’ll deal with this later, we’ve got a show to do, and those fans out there have paid big money to see us, so let’s go.

From the Mohegan Sun Show (2/1/06)

Now, I’ll admit even though that was the most perfect concert I’ve ever seen and they played every song that I can think of that I’d want to see live, I could tell their minds were somewhere else. Hopefully this wasn’t obvious to everyone. I could tell that they wanted to finish that show, get off the stage, grab a bottle of whatever, and just sit with their friend. Jon and Richie had their moments on stage where they showed what being together for over 20 years means. It’s a friendship that I admire greatly because there are few like it. Richie showed poise and strength last night that I will never forget. I will cherish his singing of the second verse of “Wanted Dead Or Alive” (SOMETIMES I SLEEP, SOMETIMES IT'S NOT FOR DAYS, THE PEOPLE I MEET, ALWAYS GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS, SOMETIMES YOU TELL THE DAY, BY THE BOTTLE THAT YOU DRINK, AND TIME WHEN YOU'RE ALONE, ALL YOU DO IS THINK) as if those were the last words he was ever going to speak. And beyond my memories of how perfect that show was, how awesome it was to have Jon sing Bed of Roses 50 feet from me, or seeing “In These Arms” performed live, I will never, ever forget what Richie gave to us, the fans, that night. He gave his heart and soul and he definitely played for keeps, but I know he’ll make it back.

Richie: May God bless you and keep you strong through this trial. Keep the Faith!