Peanut Gallery Poll
So here it is...all laid out for everyone to read. I'm done being single. Well not really because I still am single, but I'm mentally done with it. I don't want to be single anymore. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I know you're saying so what are you gonna do about it. Just because you're done doesn't mean Mr. Whoever is going to drop out of the sky. I know that, silly. But I'm done just sitting around waiting for it to happen because I'm sorry but he's not going to fall out of the sky. I'm not saying God can't do that, but it's not something I think he's interested in doing. So what am I gonna do about it...that's where y'all come in. For probably the last year or so, I've been constantly seeing those eharmony commercials. Usually it's the same one over and over during the show that I'm watching, but after about 3,000 times of seeing it you start to wonder if God is trying to speak to you in some way or if their marketing department likes covering a lot of area. I'm considering (seriously) joining, but I thought I'd poll the readers of my blog. If you need to check them out before answering me, their URL is here:
What do you think about the program?
Pros/Cons?
Risks/Bonuses?
Things you like?
Things you don't like?
Anything that sends up a red flag to you?
Anything that sends out a green light to you?
I'm ready...lay it on me. Whatcha got?
By the way, sitting in a pew at church and waiting for Mr. Whoever to come sit next to me is not an allowable answer to this poll. Basically, the traditionalist view of just sit and wait is not what I'm looking for here. I'm looking for honest to goodness answers about what you think of eharmony and not how you waited so long and Mr. or Miss Whoever eventually did come along. I've heard all that stuff. And yes it worked for you, but that's not necessarily the way it will work for me.
posted by Leann @ Thursday, September 29, 2005
11 comments
11 Comments:
You go girl. I like e-harmony. Of all the dating programs out there, it seems to be among the best. I also like that Dr. Phil started it. It seems to be safe and has good results. The questionaire at the beginning is good. I like that you don't learn many personal details before you committ to the program. Things I don't like - it's online dating...scary. My suggestions would be to set up a dummy e-mail account that just holds your e-harmony correspondence. Then, solicit a friend to read your first few letters back and forth to a guy. Also to read the letters from a guy. And don't meet anyone alone!!!!!! Ever!!!! A pro would be that at the very least you could meet some interesting guys who are compatible with you. At the very worst, you don't find anyone to seriously date. You go girl. Stay safe...Much love
Don't know anything about it, but for what it's worth I believe Odgie met Christine on eHarmony.
And we really really like Christine, but Odgie likes her even more!
Here's the thing, if you don't want to be single, you have to do something about it. Even if God's plan is for you to sit in a pew and wait, at least in the meantime you'll meet some nice people . . .
So here's why I think eHarmony has it right:
1. They actually have you fill out the equivalant of a psychological test. This is important in matching you up with compatible people. Trust me, it's a big deal and many online services don't bother doing it.
2. You're correspondence is initially anonymous (mostly). You can't see their e-mail address or location info until they (or you) choose to share it. All e-mails are through the eHarmony site. Again, very important. If you like someone you chat over e-mail a few times. If you end up not liking them, they can't bug/stalk you because they don't know your info. Plus, if you DO meet, it's in a public place that YOU drove to. Which means you can leave at any time, for any reason. Again, very important for beginning relationships.
3. By using eHarmony specifically, you are ensuring yourself that the majority of the other people are looking for a committed relationship. This is especially important for the guys that use eHarmony. Apparently females out number males approximately 3 to 1 on eHarmony, but those males are looking for a long term relationship. If it's not you, at least you know it's not because the guy is scared of committment or just "out to get some." There much less painful and free ways to "hook up" than eHarmony.
4. While you don't need to or want to be 100% compatible with someone, there are certain important values that should be considered (like religous beliefs). eHarmony appears to take this into account.
5. Just try and see what happens. Talk to Mike M. and see what he has to say about it.
Jamison and I met online in a chatroom. Did you know that? It can work. And you're more than smart enough not to jump in over your head. I say go for it! :)
I had no idea, Dianne! Thanks for that bit of info and advice.
Thanks everyone for your advice, thoughts, information, etc. Especially the psycho-analysis from Jeff. Do you work for them, Jeff? :) Thanks for the practical advice Shayna, Jacque, and Carl.
Leann,
I think that eHarmony is a smart way to go. And Carl is right, that is where I met Christine.
However, let me warn you: you have to be patient. I was on there for about 8 months before I met Christine. I had a lot of fun and met some really nice girls that I would not have met otherwise, but I had to learn to be patient.
The upside is that I had a lot more experience and practice at dating than I would have if I had met Christine right away; and practice IS important.
I think it's a good idea and I'd second Jeff and Mandrake's comments. I also like the online aspect. Ann & I spent a lot of time talking online after we'd met but before we started dating. In our case it made things easier because she was a little shy back then (oh how things have changed) and we each had a second to actually process what the other was saying before responding (which matters alot when one of you speaks English and the other speaks Texan) Anyway, eventually my computer broke and I actually had to walk upstairs and talk to her, and things moved on from there....but the point is, I like it!!
All good comments and advice, Leann. A little while ago I would have said, absolutely not, because I was not a fan of online dating (and just saw it as away that stalkers could find their prey easier...), but now, I am not as opposed to it. I think this might be fun, and you can always have "security" (some of us who could be sitting around in the same place with little headsets strategically placed around the restaurant). =) We've got your back!
...plus I think Christine is fab, and Andy and Ann's story is too funny, for sure! And both involve the Online phenomenon,
Leann, I think it would be a fun way to meet people. Oh and much like Andy and Ann...Jeff and I started talking online (though I did have a boyfriend at the time) and then after we started dating, I was either at home or in Italy for the first 8 months or so, and we usually only talked over the internet (its much cheaper than an international call). =) So I say go for it.
I like Gene's idea of letting some of us be security too. =)
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