Tuesday, May 24, 2005

CO-MMU-NI-CA-TION

Talking...It's something we all do every day, but for some reason a lot of us aren't willing to actually say what we mean or want to say. Regrets are a funny thing. Not funny ha-ha; funny interesting. A lot of us say we don't want to have them, but yet we're not willing to put ourselves out there in order to actively keep them from occurring. I tend to be the opposite of this. I speak my mind maybe a little more than people would like me to, but never more than I think I should. But speaking my mind doesn't always garner a positive response. No one ever says, "thank you for calling me out on something that I was doing or being stubborn about that I wasn't willing to admit even to myself." No one ever appreciates it when you disagree with their point of view and actually have the nerve to tell them how you see it (with valid points because telling someone you disagree just cause isn't really convincing).

I wasn't brought up in a family that taught me to question authority, but it's a trait that I developed for myself over time. I definitely believe in tradition and that if it ain't broke don't fix it, but I also believe in there being a better way of doing things. So, when that better way conflicts with tradition, I tend to err on the side of the new/better way. However, I was also brought up in a family that believed in communication and not bottling things up. I know, strange, right!?!? Of course, I know that not everyone was brought up this way and that I occasionally have to construct my communication a little differently for some people. I'll find a way to say what I want to say even if I do circumnavigate (look it up) it. But at the same time, I LOVE COMMUNICATION. It's honestly the best thing you can do with your mouth. Ah, ah, ah...Don't start thinking of other things you might think you can do with your mouth...You know I'm right...Communication is the best use.

So what bugs me a lot is the fact that people continually bottle things up and when they have a disagreement with someone or a conflict they aren't willing to stand up and say you know what I don't agree with this or you know what I see it differently or you know what that hurt my feelings. People don't know they need to change something or stop doing something unless someone actually tells them that it hurt their feelings or it's wrong. Everyone's got that little twinge inside of them (butterflies, if you will) that goes off when they are probably doing something wrong, but not everyone listens to it. So, I think some of us exist here for God to use us to make the alarm louder.

Now, let me be the first to admit that I don't have all the answers and I'm sure as heck not always right. But I like to think that I've got a good head on my shoulders and that occasionally my opinion matters for something...And actually makes sense now and then. I do know that the thing about speaking my mind will likely never change. What I'm hoping is that people who aren't currently willing to speak their mind, will start because I'm pretty certain there are things in my life that I need to be called out on...But who's out there willing to step up to the plate and tell me how they see it???? (That was rhetorical...Unless you really know something that needs to be said to me.)

2 Comments:

At 5/25/2005 8:37 AM, Blogger crazykarl7 said...

Go Auburn!

 
At 5/25/2005 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting blog!!!! I've been giving the idea of "humiliation" some general musing lately. Though, as you say, a lot of no-nonscence communication holds excellent potential to move relationships to deeper levels, the fact that a good number of people are the type to feel an instant sense of humiliation/caution/misgiving when confronted with something that isn't properly sugar-coated, most often causes those particular folks to recoil. You know how in psychology they say it takes 11 positives to offset a negative. I'm thinking if someone perceives a negative (even though that wasn't the speaker's intent), then it takes a lot of what they perceive as positive to get them to be willing to continue the relationship. We could all benefit from having a little thicker skin, and a little more appreciation for those who want to communicate with us. Anyway, you put some great thoughts out there!!!! Certainly worth contemplating!!!!

 

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